So You Need a Breakup Playlist

Alright, it’s happened, The End has hit your relationship status and now you’re sitting on your bed wrapped in a blanket, blank, devastated, confused, sad, maybe even happy and you have no idea how to process it all.

This is what it feels like...but worse
This is what it feels like…but worse

 

Most likely your brain is screaming at you and it’s so loud and mumbled you have no idea what it’s even saying. You have feeeeeelings, so many feelings you have no idea what to do with.

You’re not sure if you should eat five boxes of easy mac or flee your home and start running, until you’ve gone 54 miles and you’re skinny, because skinny and fit people don’t have breakup problems (bullshit by the way…let me remind you, even Jennifer Lopez- who hasn’t had bread for 15 years has broken up with someone before).

Eat all the food...even canned beets
Eat all the food…even canned beets

 

What the actual shit do you do now; one day, one week, one year after the world ceased to exist, as you knew it?

Music my friends, music.

When the big B happened in December for me, I started Googling breakup songs. I knew music was the only thing that was going to take over the thoughts in my head that weren’t doing any good, the music would give me a roadmap through the stages of the heartache.

The following is what came up in my interweb search:

 

I Will Survive– Gloria Gay- (I do in fact stand by this one)

Since You Been Gone– Kelly Clarkson (Since you’ve been gone I’ve been devastated, shut up Kelly….I’m still in the PAAAAAIN)

You Oughta Know– Alanis Morisette (I’m not nearly angry enough Alanis)

Someone Like You– Adele (Pretty much anything by her is a breakup song and yeah they do alright for me and “Send my Love” was pretty epic…it was mostly all the same and I can’t sing like Adele so I’ll never truly relate to her pain, nor do I want someone like the person it didn’t work out with because then we’d still be broken up because he probably wouldn’t pick his dirty underwear off the floor either and I’d be forced to murder him)

ANY TAYLOR SWIFT SONG!!!! – Taylor, you’re barely an adult…just…just shut up, I can’t even with you.

 

So, I wasn’t finding what I needed. It was all so middle of the road and generalized stuff, talking about cheating and lying and blah blah blah…they all had a message of, ”You suck – I’m fine – Look I’m even better now without you- Look at my new man – I’m going to commit actual crimes by trashing your stuff and specifically slashing your tires.”

No Carrie, just no, that is a crime!
No Carrie, just no, that is a crime!

 

Alright, confession here…I watched Beyonce’s Lemonade about five billion times, but this was much later in the grieving process where the pain wasn’t so close to home and I was ready to feel positive towards the future…and that shit was just catchy (no there was no Becky with the good hair either in my situation).

My relationship wasn’t summed up by these ideas portrayed by the songs I found. I couldn’t relate completely to these songs when I still generally loved the person I was no longer with.

Eventually I just started listening to new music I happened to like at the time and organically found those songs that pulled me from the sticky pit of my own tears and drool- I went through anger, pain, denial, regret, acceptance and eventually hope, then thrilling joyfulness.

So, I can’t give you a real playlist of breakup songs. More like, I won’t.

The same things that made me feel better won’t necessarily work for you. Nor do I think you should Google breakup songs. You’ve got to get down in the dark, when you’ve been crying for hours straight, unable to see anymore because your eyes are so swollen, you’ve heaved and pulsed, and rocked, telling yourself it was never going to get better, and then reach out for your iPod.

Put that one song on that always made you smile, or even the one that always made you cry, no matter what your Facebook Relationship status said. YouTube is amazing for suggesting songs like your favorite ones (sometimes).

 

Ok, maybe I will give one tiny suggestion. I will say, through YouTube- yes I have a problem with YouTube, we all know this-

anyways, through YouTube I found Florence and The Machine’s album-turned-short-film, “The Odyssey.” This fucking thing…I’m not even going to explain it, just watch it. Do what you gotta do to watch it, go to the library with some headphones, steal wifi from Barnes and Noble, borrow a friend’s phone for a half hour, whatever, watch it. At the very least, listen to the actual album, How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful. If it doesn’t help, I don’t know what will, maybe just listen to Achy Breaky Heart and then regret all your other life decisions instead.

 

Just to wet your whistle, small excerpt from

Florence + The Machine- Third Eye

Hey look up!

You don’t have to be a ghost, here amongst the living.

You are flesh and blood!

And deserve to be loved, and you deserve what you are given.

Get to it.

 

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One Comment

  1. Kanda Handa

    Love reading ur stories it does get easier n in my case I am doing fine alone. No one to argue with or tell u what to do next or where to eat or that dreaded question what do u want to eat.

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