The Do’s of Being With Someone
Alright, we got the Don’ts out of the way, and I’m gonna’ go ahead and get right to the Do’s when it comes to being in a partnership with someone. I know you folks are busy and you most likely only read my stuff when you’re in the bathroom hiding from various pets or kids (right on! Do what you gotta’ do).
This applies to both of you, Do TALK:
Seriously, that’s it, if we just did this, a lot of trouble would be avoided and you could spend more time doing fun stuff like going to Meijer’s at 3am for ice cream, because hey, he looked at you and said, “Let’s go get ice cream.”
I’m not trying to stereotype here, but women are notorious for keeping quiet, mostly with every single intention of mentioning whatever is bothering them at a later time. I’ve been there, I tried to find the “right” time to bring something up, and I had an amazing knack for picking actually thee worst possible time to do it. I’ve touched on this a bit in the don’ts, but it bears repeating, so speak up immediately.
When you look at your partner, and think, man, their elbows look really good today…just say it out loud. I truly think no one should need validation from another person because it behooves you to walk around thinking you’re the best thing since donuts, but hey, validation is nice. If he looks handsome, blurt it out. Throw in a “Meow,” when you really mean it. Again, this should probably happen without any expectations of getting anything in return, it’s just a nice thing to do.
Men…note here, the whole, brooding-I-don’t-talk-about-feelings thing is tired and despite your fears of being nagged or made fun of for speaking up, it’s ok to talk. The good the bad, all of it. I can assure you, your day’s going to go a lot better if you actually tell Sharon that she upset you the other day because she says you never help out with the house, but you feel like you do. Somebody’s probably exaggerating here and talking it out could help clarify the situation.
If you’re happy, tell her that too. One phrase I can almost guarantee will get you a little more attention and affection is, “YOU MAKE ME HAPPY.” That’s it, no sonnets, no poems, end of story.
You’re adults, act like it, but do be kids sometimes:
We’re human, we’re imperfect, we mess up, we make it worse, and hopefully we can make it better. As an adult, we all have jobs, but know what your job is not, being his mother, or for the guys, providing for her. Your jobs, are to set up your lives, together, in a way that life becomes not only easier, but more joyful. Otherwise, what’s the point?
You take care of the day-to-day stuff together, like helping each other get the kids (or dog) to bed, then you can get to the fun stuff. When you grew up, you didn’t have to stop playing, you just forgot how much fun it was, do that.
I cannot emphasize the importance of wrestling each other and tickling, seriously…it does amazing things.
Do always strive to be better than yesterday:
Look, I’m not a sports fan, but I’d say it would probably be a good idea to see your partnership as a legitimate team. (Matching outfits are optional, but I WILL make fun of you if I see it.)
I know you’ve heard it before, blah blah, have his/her back, defense, score…but it’s more than that. Teams don’t just happen, they practice, they put in the work, they run drills. If there’s something you two aren’t good at, for instance you can’t get on the same page over whether to sleep with the TV on or off, you could come up with various plays on what could possibly work. You can’t just gloss over the issues though. The whole idea is to get better, and also to figure out what “winning” would look like to you as a team.
What is your Superbowl? Maybe your 50th wedding anniversary, any milestone can work, but you have to both know what you’re going after.
Each of you has a certain set of skills that will undoubtedly make you better for certain tasks. Use that to your advantage, but always be willing to sacrifice for the end goal. The minute you stop working on your own conditioning as a player is the day you both start to fall apart, I know this. For so long, I was too miserable with my own life to be able to add any real happiness to my partner’s and to be honest, I respect him for sticking it out as long as he did, I was a shitty team member. Now, I know better so I do better, too easy.
So there we are, the Do’s. Meh, it’s not astrophysics, but I’ve seen so many couples in my lifetime circling near happiness, when it’s right there, it’s right there guys, I promise! I tried to just let my relationship happen. Longevity doesn’t work that way though, and you can’t do it alone, it literally takes two.
Tell me guys, what are some of your go-to habits you have to keep it together with your partner?